Bule Gila

My boss informed me yesterday that I only have seven more weeks at my school left before my contract ends. Seven weeks.

The news kind of shocked me: I had always figured that I had a vague “couple of months” left in my contract. But actually thinking about my remaining time in Indonesia in terms of weeks… it seems so short. I’m not even going to bother working out the time in days as it will probably bring on a panic attack.

This will probably create some troubles for the girlfriend and I as our current plan for the relationship is “ignore everything and pretend like we’ll always be together forever, always”. Obviously, that little illusion of ours is going to have to be confronted sooner than I had hoped.

There is also the matter of being unemployed soon. However, that part doesn’t worry me as much because, as an English teacher once said to me, “There’s always China - they’ll hire anybody!”

That is all…

The next five years of my life in a nutshell.

The last post I made garnered quite some attention despite it’s vagueness. Just goes to show you that nothing is more intriguing to the reader’s eye than the Caps Lock button.

More interestingly, it even caught the eye of Matt Shury, a funny comedian and one of my worst best-friends ever. I forgot to include Matt in my earlier “Blogs You Should Follow” post which I know he will never let me forget should our paths ever cross again. So in the interest of preemptively quelling the fiery, impotent rage that is Shury, I will now “talk up” his blog.

First and foremost, Matt Shury is a funny guy - perhaps one of the funniest comedians I’ve befriended. I know this because he tell me constantly - as well as anyone else in the nearby vicinity. A conversation with Matt feels like travelling down a bright, winding, twisting, rainbow-coloured road of lexical and pop-culture adventure - except you’re doing so at knife point because he’s kidnapped you and you have no choice in the matter. You see, Matt has the distinct ability to say in a thousand words what a normal sane person might say in twelve. I’ve since learned to tune him out and instead just listen for “key” conversation words (“Green Lantern!” and variations of).

Still, on the rare occasions I do have the energy to listen to him in his entirety, he’s still only person I know who can make me cry with laughter. So he’s got that going for him.

Also, he’s black so having him around proves that I’m not a racist.

I just wrote a long blog post and abruptly deleted it.

Here’s the gist:

I JUST REALIZED I AM TOTALLY WASTING MY LIFE RIGHT NOW! AHHHHHHHHHH!